| Our life is a train of the cold contacts. |
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| Автор: Юрий | |||
| 01.09.2009 18:12 | |||
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The young student arrives in a tram; there are a lot of people, anyhow he gets in, “hangs on one finger”, stays on one leg, suddenly the tram shakes and he treads upon woman’s foot. This student starts sincere to apologize and woman answers on this: “Don’t apologize, I have already spitted on your back.” We have the cold contacts from the moment of our birthday all the time. When a child draws the first breath, first thing he sees a doctor. A question: does anybody acquaint this child with a doctor? No. In firsts moments of our life we have a possibility to make our first cold contact. It is not always successful, because the child shouts, cries, pushes everybody away, - the birth is a shock for him; though he gets the first trial. This habit is on the subconscious level. And, starting from the first minute, the cold contacts happen many times during our life. After the birth, child stays in the children’s room, there nursemaids and nurses communicate with him. In several days doctors discharge mother from the maternity hospital; grandmothers, grandfathers, father, godparents, aunts and uncles meet her. The child is passing by hands and he acquaints with new people. In several months according our Slavic traditions, friends visit the new man. They passing by the bed, halloo, lisp - in the single word make the acquaintance. When the child becomes adult, he starts to go to the yard by himself and meet there other children. I think, everybody remember how he acquainted with boys and girls in the yard. After the seventh birth day celebrating, the child goes to school with other children. Of course, the teacher conducts conventional ritual of acquaintance in the class, but with pupils of parallel classes, with senior pupils, primary school pupils and teachers the child acquaints without assistance. I remember very well how we acquainted with a probationer at school, since we picked apples in his garden against his will, this acquaintance was forced. Also we made an acquaintance with yardmen, divisional police inspectors; everybody had a lot of new meetings in their lives. When we remember the institute, we see that we met there new people all the time. On the first place of our work collaborators introduced us, but then we should to make acquaintances independently to have ties and to get contacts. And nowadays any adult person makes a lot of cold contacts, even unthinking how this is going on. And of course he doesn’t think that contacts could be different. The most popular is a visual cold contact. Every day, passing through the street we meet people with a help of eyes, arrive in transport – look on each other. And the most important thing: some contacts are comfortable for us, some are not. Be sometimes that you catch the eye of the nice for you person and feel the flood of energy, animation. Under the unpleased look we grip, become withdrawn, we want to hide from this glance: it is uncomfortable and cheerless. As well we make body contacts. The example of this could be journey in the public transport (especially I like trams, when the conductor in a rush hour “swims” in a crowd, pushing and shaking people). Some contacts are comfortable for us, some not. When somebody clasps me in the subway to a young charming girl, I don’t feel discomfort, and when a drunken man with a smell of alcohol leans all his weight upon me, my feelings are not too pleasant. Besides this, there are smell contacts. When you feel a pleasant fragrance in the street, your head turns involuntarily to find the source of this smell. There are unpleased smell contacts. You can get a view about them, throwing away garbage and seeing a homeless by the refuse bin. And the last type of the contact – speech contact. Every day we speak a lot with somebody. For example, you came in the supermarket where you want to by a certain thing. The supermarket is big and you don’t know where the necessary good is, that’s why you come to the consultant or guard and ask for help. Speech contacts by turn also could be unpleased. Of course the guard in the supermarket should answer you polite, but we couldn’t say this about, for example, sellers in small shops. There is a shop by my office and the seller’s behavior disinclines me to address to her, she serves and answer as if she obliges client. Selling a person before me in the line, she roars: ”What do you want?”, and you begin to doubt that you need one more bundle of butter, maybe you can manage without it. Is such attitude pleasant? Of course no. Though, in case of need we address to unknown people again and again. Do you try to find known people at that moment when you come into the fixed-run taxi and want to give money for your journey? Of course not, you ask nearest person to do this. And you do this unthinking. Going back home after work you want to buy something tasteful for supper and to do this you come into your lovely shop by the house. When you are near the counter you see that today works unknown seller. Do you go to another shop where works known seller or you do shopping here? We communicate every day for many times, when the life gives up definite situation. We communicate as we can, sometimes good, sometimes not. A baby smiles at ones, cries on others. Sometimes we get a friend after the acquaintance, sometimes only hard parent’s reproof after the watch’s complaint. The time passes, but unpleased cases stay in our memory for a long time. For example, conductors in trains could be very rough, though the aim of their work to provide passengers with a comfort. One more bright and clear for everybody example – SAI. In truth their goal is to provide a comfort and safety on the road. But generally the communication with SAI - inspectors stirs up negative emotions, even when the speed was not exceeded and all road laws were observed. Often in actions we can see how a young couple goes back home at night through the bad lighted street, the group of the “cold contactors” comes to them; they circle a couple and ask for the light. Mechanically a person feels hostility and danger in such situation. And the most interesting thing, when you observe such scene through the window at home, it’s also unpleased for you. Everybody has an experience of the communication with unknown people, but it is both – positive and negative. Unfortunately the negative experience becomes a stumbling block when we hear from the sponsor about the cold contacts. From the one side we do this every day, from the other we have a barter. Why does it happen this way? Communicating every day with unknown people we don’t think about the result of this meeting. During communication we have no aim to become bosom friends for all people, we have no aim to get in love with somebody or even to make a good impression on giving money in the transport person; withdrawing a fine we have no aim to leave a good impression. As a result we have a lot of successful cooperations, but no less then unsuccessful. And at that moment when we hear from our sponsor about the cold contacts, we understand that it is important what people will think about us, will they come, and will they agree to communicate with us. But at once all our negative experience prompts us that far not always the result is positive – and we don’t want to be that people, who one day were the cause of our discomfort. We don’t want to feel aggression, to get the mitten. And if we don’t want, we should to learn how to get a necessary result. Dear reader! The book in your hands will help you to like the cold contacts forever, if you work right with this. Often people think about books only as about the fiction, which they can read with interest, smack their lips and say: “Yes, right things he says!” after this they understand, that they all this know and put the book on the shelf. I ask you convincing to attitude towards this book like to the guide for action, like to the service instruction, but not like to the light reading. You have a chance to read it in one night –this book will carry along you. And though, next day, until your memoirs and emotions are fresh, begin to master it chapter by chapter – read one and master your knowledge on practice- then you’ll get a maximal use from reading. I would like to share with you my personal experience from working with Big El’s book – “Big El unlocks his secrets”. After the first reading I started to work off the methods of searching partners with a great interest, by anyway my results didn’t satisfy me. Then I back to book again. My personal experience gave me the possibility to see that thing, which escaped my attention before, to see more deep sense of his words, to see what was between the lines. I’ve understood the great secret of this book: more work, more secrets are open for you. Since I was reading this book every day during a year – and every day I found something new for me. Read the book, implement advice and read again – only this way you master the cold contacts to perfection. Good luck for you! Practice. The second day. Take a note-book, and mark there how many and which (visual, corporal) contacts were in a day, how many were initiated by you, what kind feelings you had, what kind of people’s reactions did you observe. Call this note- book “The dairy of success”. Date Who is aт initiator Type of a contact Your feelings and people’s reaction
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